Do you love me ..enough?

Today is August 30th, and I keep promising myself that today I will write about my little son. And, then I get distracted and the time flies. You know the drill by now I am sure. As of the latest and greated, my baby is getting so big way too fast. He is growing into a real person with new ideas and testing my patience. I thought I had a ton and now I'm questioning that... lol... I sill threaten him with a pow-pow. Of course, isn't threatened by that at all. He kind of giggles and runs away. So, nope I'm a softy. Stern when I need to be---and forgiving a second later. How can I hold it against my little baby that has only been on this earth for 19 months? I can't. It wouldn't seem right. He has so much to learn and so much to master. The one thing that he is getting really good at is throwing balls. Not only does he throw balls but tries his hand at things that shouldn't be thrown. But, it's okay. In time he will learn that throwing a glass coaster isn't the right thing to do, nor throwing something that hurts at someone is ethically wrong. We'll work on it, though.

As for new discoveries, my little boy loves to bark. I'm sure he has learned this from his uncle's dog. He loves to go over to his uncle's house and play with both the uncle and his dog. More affectionately known as "Dawg" or "Bar-bar." My baby often stands at the back door barking. It's cute and makes all kinds of different expressions at the surprise in my face and his own surprise that he is getting better at his barks. It just shows you how unbridled he truly is and innocent. If I could could keep him that way I would. But, the reality is, that he will have to learn right from wrong and know how to defend himself. You see being yourself makes you more vunerable than you think. You become vunerable to the people that have forgotten what is like to be a baby and be so naive and innocent. I guess you have to take the good with the bad. But, believe me whatever good is to be had is mine....all mine! Again, I don't care what is broken because everyday this baby repairs a part of my heart that I didn't think could ever be fixed. It is just his smile and his frowns that keep me wanting to help him through all of this. I think he will be okay, though. He is very strong willed and has learned what time out is now. It is a small blue chair in the living room that he is taken to when he gets out of control or too communicative we say...better than just saying that he is a brat! I hate that word. And I deplore name calling. You may have heard the old cliche that stick and stones may break your bones and names could never hurt you... Well, that' s not true. Name calling does hurt and can damage you emotionally. I don't want him hurt...ever! I want to be his biggest fan and I think I am.

Oh, another cute story. We are into pottie training. So, one of the times I put this little guy on the pottie, he didn't do anything. So, we proceeded to put on some pull ups. Well, on our way to the pullups...baby pee'd on the carpet. So, I said "No, we don't do that." "We must pee pee in the pottie. That's bad." SO, I got him dressed and just as I was about to set his little feet on the ground, he says "I'm bad." And I said, "No, you are not bad. What you did was bad! We don't pee on the carpet." And he said, "Yep, I'm bad." And I held him and we both cried. I don't want him to think that any part of him is "bad." He is all good and wonderful and just a blessing. I'll have to be careful with him. This baby is very sensitive. Just like me. That is goo though. I think it builds who he is and who he will become. You need to be sensitive and mostly sensitive to how you make other people feel. And he does make a lot of people feel very special.

He is the light of my heart! He makes me tick and makes me just want to hug him and tickle him. I have to tape that precious laugh! For some day it will be a deep voice and he will be a man and I will miss that little baby that laughed and wanted to be chased all day long. I can't think about that. It goes by soooo fast!

Also...he likes to be escorted by Kayleigh and Zoie. These 2 little girls in his class. He likes his name announced as they run to be by his side. Help me... he's still a baby! But, he's got a lot of spunk! So, I'll take that.

He also helps me put the laundry in the washer and dryer. He is my little helper all around. Sometimes a bit too helpful, but at least he is trying and at least we are together.

Well, I must go now. My loving little boy needs to be picked up!

p.s. - Yes, I love him! And yes, it's ENOUGH!